Sensory overwhelm in everyday life: when noise, light and crowds feel like too much
You might come home from the supermarket and need to sit in the car for ten minutes before you can face going inside. Or you might get through a day in an open-plan office, then snap at someone you love over something small, and not know where it came from.
Some people call this feeling overstimulated. Others don't have a word for it. They just know that some places leave them wiped out, and that other people don't seem to feel the same way. It's often called sensory overwhelm or sensory overload: when the noise, light, smells, textures or crowds around you become more than you can comfortably take in.
This article is for anyone who recognises some of that. You might be autistic, have ADHD, or both. You might be waiting for an assessment, or wondering. Or you might never have thought of any of this as "sensory" before. You're welcome to read on either way.
A quick note on words. I've used "sensory overwhelm" and "sensory overload" because they're what many people search for. You don't need a diagnosis for anything here to be relevant to you. If "sensory" doesn't feel like your word, you can read it as "when your surroundings are too much".
What sensory overwhelm can look like day to day
Sometimes it's one thing, like the hum of a fridge that nobody else hears, a flickering strip light, or the label in a jumper. More often it's the build-up. A busy commute, then a noisy office, then a crowded shop on the way home. Each one might be manageable on its own. Together they add up, so the thing that finally tips you over can be very small.
You might notice it in different ways. Some people get irritable or tearful. Some go quiet and find it hard to speak. Others get a headache, need to leave straight away, or feel wiped out the next day. For some people it can build into a meltdown or a shutdown, which I've written about separately.
If overwhelm keeps building over weeks or months, without much chance to recover, it can be one of the routes into burnout. I've written more about that in my article on neurodivergent burnout.
"Fussy", "dramatic", "too sensitive"
A lot of people who struggle with sensory overwhelm have heard words like these, sometimes from a young age. Fussy about food or clothes. Overreacting to a bit of noise.
If that's what you heard, it makes sense that you learned to push through. You might have stopped mentioning it, or started to doubt whether it was really that bad. Pushing through can get you through a day. It also tends to use more energy than anyone sees, and over time it can leave you unsure whether your own reactions can be trusted.
Noticing what your senses need is useful information about how you work. You're allowed to take it seriously.
When you seek some sensations and avoid others
Sensory differences don't only go one way. Some people seek out certain sensations because they help, like loud music through headphones, a heavy blanket or strong flavours. You might love a busy gig and still find a busy supermarket unbearable. You might crave stimulation, then find it floors you an hour later.
This can make people doubt themselves: "I can't be sensitive to noise, I have music on all the time." Both can be true, and they can shift from day to day depending on how tired or stressed you are. Some people are under-sensitive in some areas too, and don't notice they're cold or hungry until quite late. None of this needs sorting into neat categories. It's all part of what we might look at together.
Why it can be different for autistic and ADHD people
Sensory differences are common in autistic people. The National Autistic Society explains that any of the senses can be over-sensitive, under-sensitive, or both at different times, and that this can have a big effect on everyday life. If you're autistic, or wondering, there's more about how I work on my autism counselling page.
Many people with ADHD describe similar experiences, and research into this is growing. For people who are both autistic and have ADHD, the pull between seeking and avoiding can be especially noticeable. You can also read about how I work with neurodivergent people more broadly on my neuro-affirmative counselling page.
Sensory overwhelm isn't only linked to neurodivergence, though. If sounds or lights have recently started to feel much louder or brighter than before, or they've become painful, it's worth speaking to your GP. The NHS page on noise sensitivity (hyperacusis) explains some of the other things that can cause it.
The practical side
There's a lot of practical advice about sensory overwhelm, like noise-cancelling headphones, sunglasses or shopping at quieter times. Much of it is genuinely useful, and the National Autistic Society and Autistica both have good guides. I won't repeat it all here.
For many people, the hard part isn't knowing these things exist. It's feeling allowed to use them. Wearing headphones at work, leaving a family gathering early or asking for the lights to be turned down can feel like drawing attention to yourself, especially if you've spent years trying not to. That's often where counselling can help.
A gentle way to notice your own pattern
If you'd like to, here's one small thing to try. It's completely optional. Choose a time when you feel fairly settled, not straight after a hard day, and give it a minute at most.
Think of one place that tends to leave you drained. What's one thing you notice about it? It might be a sound, the lighting, how busy it is, or something you can't quite name yet. You don't need to explain why, or decide what it means.
If you start to feel on edge, foggy, dizzy or numb, stop there. Look around the room you're in and notice a few things you can see, or have a drink of water. You can come back to it another time, or not at all. Even reading this far is enough.
What counselling can offer
Counselling starts with your needs being taken seriously. My room is quiet and was designed with neurodiversity in mind. The lighting can be dimmed or brightened, and the temperature can be changed straight away. There are fidget toys and coloured stones if it helps to keep your hands busy. You don't need to make eye contact, and you can ask for a movement break whenever you need one. If something is too bright or too loud, you can tell me and we'll change it.
The room is only part of it. In our sessions, we can look at your own pattern: what tends to build it up, the early signs, and what helps you recover. We can do this in plain, factual terms. If it's hard to say what you're feeling, that's fine. We can start with what you noticed, what happened or what your body did, and go from there. Some people find it helps to record our sessions and listen back later, and that's something I can offer.
We can also look at the older messages. If you've spent years being told you're fussy, it can take time to trust your own reactions. Counselling can be a place to talk about that without being judged. If it's useful, I can share some of the ideas behind how patterns like this form, with something you can take away. That's always optional, and there's no homework. Some people also want to think through what to say to a partner, family or employer about their sensory needs, and we can do that at your pace.
If travel, or sitting for a long time, is part of what drains you, there are other options. I offer half-hour sessions, as well as telephone sessions and video sessions. You're welcome here, exactly as you are.
Making sense of it
If you've recognised yourself in some of this, you might feel some relief that it has a name, or have new questions about what it means for you. There's no need to work any of that out right now. These are the main things I'd want you to take away.
Sensory overwhelm often builds up over a day, so what tips you over can be small.
Being called fussy or oversensitive can teach you to push through and doubt yourself. Your reactions are worth taking seriously.
Seeking some sensations and avoiding others can both be true for you.
Counselling can help you understand your own pattern and feel more able to ask for what you need, at a pace that feels manageable.
If you'd like to talk about any of this, the first step is a free 15-minute phone call. It's a friendly, no-obligation way to see if it feels like the right fit, and there's no pressure to book afterwards. Sessions are available face to face in Whitefield, or by video, and phone. You can book your free call through my contact page.
If sounds or lights have suddenly become much harder to bear, or painful, speak to your GP. If you're thinking about an autism or ADHD assessment, your GP is usually the place to start. If overwhelm is coming with very low mood or thoughts of ending your life, call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option, or call Samaritans free on 116 123 at any time. In an emergency, call 999.
